there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize