Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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