im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
