We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
