saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
