It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
