I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
