If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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