also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
