Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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