I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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