be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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