He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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