I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
