I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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