The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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