just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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