why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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