Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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