Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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