she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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