You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize