Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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