His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
