Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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