Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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