can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My dick has a subreddit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize