i just wanna soil my oats bro
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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