He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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