seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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