i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
