just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
