When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
