so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
