Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
