It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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