remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
