i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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