just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
