ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
