Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Where else am I to apply my creativity?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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(571): View more from Virginia

how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

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(727): View more from Florida

he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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(616): View more from Michigan

She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.

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(519): View more from Ontario

University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."

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(210): View more from Texas

Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?

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