ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
