so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?