Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?