i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize