i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
