i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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