Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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