dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
