would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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