Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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