Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dick very happy bro
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
