I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
