i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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