sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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