I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
