Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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