He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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