I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
