If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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