Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
