Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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