Sry I called you an 8
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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