I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
