exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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