I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize