I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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