You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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