I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
